Carlisle lost her best friend and man she loved in a terrorist attack. As one of the few survivors, of the bombing, she understandably suffers from PTSD and survivor’s guilt. However, she did not escape unscathed. Her body bears the scars of the attack and the after effects of multiple surgeries, so it is no wonder that she has an emotional disconnect with everyone around her. She copes by self medicating and sex. Quick one-nighters, no phone calls, no cuddling, no beds and most importantly, no expectations for the future. That is until she gives in to desire and need with the one guy she should have stayed away from. Mateo acts like your average college guy looking for a good time, but deep down he’s a nice guy at heart.
She finally meets someone who understands loss and can’t in good conscience just stand by without trying to stop her or change her mind and she has to push him away. Mateo has his own tragedy that he’s getting over which we don’t find out about until well in to the book. Which makes me question whether he could be the right person for Carlisle considering she’s all but given up and decided to die. Then again, the heart wants what it wants. And maybe someone who had been through loss the way Mateo had is exactly what Carlisle needed.
I don’t presume to understand why some people make the choices they do, so I won’t pretend to know or get why our heroine made the decision she did. Carlisle is dying, she knows it even if no one else does yet. What I don’t understand is why when faced with paralysis, she would rather chose death. That just seems like a selfish decision to me. Almost like a child who can’t get what they want, she is throwing a tantrum to end all tantrums because of self pity. I get why she also made the decision she did about Mateo. But to expect that when she decided to come back, he’d be waiting for her? Seriously? Wow… full of yourself much? I loved Mateo. He was a great character who never tried to be anything but himself. Carlisle though, I had a love/hate relationship with. In the end I didn’t think she deserved Mateo.
To be honest, I absolutely loved this story. It was heart wrenching and so real.